


Lessons in Dialogue

by fhsa_archivist



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode Related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-27
Updated: 2004-02-27
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: A little lesson in grammar and fanfic posting.





	Lessons in Dialogue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

**"A Dialogue & Writing Lesson" - M/M/M, an erotic lecture on erotic writing.**

 

Original notes with Original Story: The author permits any kind of archiving, posting, reposting, and reproduction in fixed form or otherwise, free, or for profit, of this story. This work is unsuitable for minors. Comments invited. You may rewrite this, but if you do, please replace my name with yours. 

 

conjured's note: These are the original author's instructions -- and before you ask -- No, I don't know who the original author is. The original story's been making the rounds for years, but it was a bit dull and technical. Thinking this could be a fun, helpful bit of advice for the many new comers to the M7 Fandom, who have never written before, I took the liberty of rewriting and spicing it up -- see permission above -- for our guys. 

 

DISCLAIMER: All characters and events found in any and all fan fiction stories are fictitious, and any similarity to real persons, living or deceased is entirely coincidental and unintended by the author. The Magnificent Seven is a protected trademark. The characters of this series are used herein with no mean intent, or desire for remuneration.

  
**LESSONS IN DIALOGUE**

(revised and expanded version by conjured on Jan 4, 2002)

Ezra, now on his back, looked up at Vin, the lithe stud who was just starting his first impaling -- and well lubed -- thrust. But with no more than an inch of himself inside Ezra, who was the shorter, but broader, more muscular of the two naked young ATF agents, Vin stopped and held himself perfectly still. Ezra asked, "What's the matter?" "Short fuse, real short." "You afraid you'll go off too soon?" "Sure am," said Vin.

 

"May I make a few suggestions?" asked Ezra, feeling Vin ease himself deeper. 

 

"Go ahead," said Vin, a jerk of his head swinging his long, curly sandy-brown hair clear of his eyes. "Suggest away." 

 

"Don't put your reply in the *same* paragraph as my question, the way you did in the first paragraph of this story. Instead, start a new paragraph with *every* change in who's talking, as I'm doing now." 

 

"Uh -- why?" 

 

Curling his hips up to meet the next impaling thrust, Ezra felt his abdominal muscles contract into taut, concave ripples. He took a deep breath, tightened the layer of muscle that swept across his broad chest, then said, "It makes it a whole lot easier for the reader to tell who's saying what. It's like . . . like in that first paragraph, the reader's not *quite* sure who said, 'Afraid I'll shoot too soon.' Also, you'll have shorter paragraphs, which are easier to read than screens, or pages full of uninterrupted columns of type. Newspapermen call writing such long paragraphs 'tombstoning,' because the results look like grey tombstones: boring and uninviting. 

 

"Putting a break between *every* paragraph makes a story much easier to read. And since that's the way almost all online fiction is done, it's what the reader expects. Don't distract the reader from what you and I are doing and saying *right now*. 

 

"And if you're preparing a story you're going to post on a news-group, or transmit by e-mail, limit line length to about sixty-five, or seventy characters and spaces." Ezra felt Vin thrust himself in another inch, and met that thrust with another hip undulation, enjoying Vin's harder push in response. 

 

"Okay. What else?" asked Vin. 

 

"When you ask a question in dialogue, put the question mark, or exclamation point at the end, *inside* the quote marks, without putting a comma there too." 

 

"Oh." Vin took a deep breath, went in deeper. "And...did ya say ya...had more suggestions?" he asked. 

 

"Yes. When you have a bit of dialogue that *doesn't* end with a question mark, or exclamation point, and *is* followed by 'he said', or 'he asked', or 'he replied', or a phrase like that, then use a comma -- inside the quotation marks -- like this," said Ezra. 

 

"Use a period just before the closing quote marks when you don't have a 'he said', or 'asked', or the like following the quote marks -- like this." Ezra arched again. "If you begin a sentence with 'he said' or a similar word, put a comma right after the last word before the quote marks, and then capitalize the first word *after* the quote marks." 

 

Vin began a more vigorous thrust. "I think I understand." 

 

"Three more things. Don't feel that you have to reach for substitutes for 'said' in speech tags. Using 'observed', or 'expounded', or 'intoned' is far more distracting than the simple 'he said,' which is almost invisible to the reader. Those fancy substitutes distract the reader from what's being said inside the quotation marks. Of course, the verb in a speech tag has to be one that makes sense. You can't 'squirm' a sentence; you can't hiss, 'Take that!' 

 

"With questions, use 'he asked'. You can use 'whispered', or 'growled', or verbs like those *very* sparingly. Use them only when you're giving the reader additional information that the context doesn't already make clear. 

 

"An example: '"Good morning." Kurt snarled, with a grimace.' In this case, the *way* Kurt spoke and the look on his face, doesn't match the words Kurt used. Here, you have to use 'snarled' to make the reader aware of that mismatch. 

 

"And the other two things?" asked Vin. He was breathing harder now, and pulling back between strokes. 

 

"One way to break up the monotony of 'he said', 'he said', 'he said', etc., is to leave off the speech tag entirely -- but only when it's perfectly obvious who's speaking. With just the two of us, you asking questions and me answering them, we can leave out 'Vin said' and 'Ezra said', and go for several paragraphs without confusing the reader. With ordinary conversation and only two speakers, you should identify who is talking about every third paragraph. And always make it clear which 'he' you mean, *especially* if you have three male speakers going at it. 

 

"Then, if one of us talks for more than one paragraph at a time -- as I'm doing right now -- leave off the end-of-paragraph quote marks until the *last* paragraph of that multi-paragraph speech," Ezra said, tightening his arms around Vin's chest, locking their naked bodies together. "But you still need opening quotes at the *start* of every paragraph of that speech, like this. 

 

"Another way to break up the monotony of 'he said' is what I'm doing right here." Ezra felt Vin's muscles tighten, just before driving into him hard. "In the same paragraph with a within-quotes speech, end the quoted part with a period -- or a full stop if you are English, Canadian or Australian -- and then put in something like my feeling you tighten up, as you sink yourself hilt-deep into me. This can advance the plot at the same time that the writer establishes who is saying the words inside the quote marks. But again: readers just don't notice the 'he said', as long as what he's saying is *interesting*." 

 

"Yeah? Lemme get this straight. When ya interrupt the quoted part, and ya want to use a verb that is not a synonym, or substitute for 'said,' ya end what's inside the quotes with a period, and start what follows the quote with a capital letter." Vin stopped his next stroke in mid-thrust. "And with questions and question marks, do them like this?" He grinned down at Ezra. "But if ya *are* using 'he said', or 'he asked' right after some stuff in quotes, then ya *don't* want to put a capital letter on the 'he', right?" he asked. 

 

"Exactly." Vin thrust even harder with his next stroke and Ezra felt a bit of rotation movement as well. "And just like this," he said, grinning back up at Vin. 

 

"And I even noticed how yer using single quotes inside the double-quote marks without tellin' me." 

 

"Actually, I prefer using "and" for opening and closing quotes, but I haven't found many others who like them, even though they are standard keyboard characters doubled. Most people use the single quote 'and'. Using anything not on a standard keyboard in e-mailed, or news-group stories -- like using smart quotes or any of the typesetting double-quote codes -- is a real pain for readers whose equipment doesn't fit yours just right." 

 

"Well," said Vin, "I still say this a really weird time to have a grammar lesson -- but yeah, my equipment fits into yers real nice and tight." 

 

Ezra felt a grin spread across his own face. "Well, the grammar lesson's keeping you cooled down, isn't it? A lusty, beautiful stud muffin like you will usually go off too soon when he climbs onto a awesome muscle stud like me; and you've been riding me for -- Hey! Slow down! You're getting there too soon!" 

 

"Yeah...I...noticed. Talk...t' me...about...something else...quick," Vin panted, slowing almost to a stop. 

 

"Okay, we can...umm...you got *me* going too. Oh, there -- yeah, right there -- we can talk emphasis. Since plain-text e-mail doesn't have underlining, or italics, I use astricks '*' to begin emphasized words and again at the end of that emphasis. And I use slashes '//' for a character's unspoken thoughts." 

 

//Now we're both cooling down,// Ezra said to himself. Aloud, he said, "The reader can convert those asterisks and slashes to his own word-processor's codes for underlining or italics, or just leave them in the file that way. But using emphasis can be a double edged sword, use too *much* emphasis and you run the risk of alienating the reader." 

 

"Ya seem to be usin' a lot of it with this story." 

 

"Yes, I am, but that's to make a point. Not everyone wants to be told every time, that they should be emphasizing certain words, or actions. And by *this* time I'm sure there are some readers annoyed at my use of *emphasis*. It can break the flow of imagery. Use it only when absolutely certain *you* need the reader to get *your* point. 

 

"There *are* other ways to place emphasize in e-mail text. One is simply to capitalize the Initial Letters of the words you want to emphasize. For even greater emphasis, since ordinary e-mail doesn't support bold-face, or bold-face-italic type, capitalize the WHOLE word. Beyond that, you can (on *very* special occasions) do T H I S. 

 

"Although _some_ people like to emphasize with a single underscore line before and after an emphasized word, I think the astricks work better, especially if you use lots of dashes for punctuation. Watch out for the difference between the dash -- which pushes phrases apart -- and the well-placed hyphen, which pulls words together into compounds like 'plain-text' and 'e-mail' and even 'well-placed.' 

 

Vin asked, "What about those -- what do ya call 'em -- three dots?" 

 

"They're called an ellipsis. You can use one instead of a dash. Most readers will see the dash as showing an abrupt change in what you're saying, or -- at the end of a word -- that you've suddenly stopped. The ellipsis . . ." His voice trailed off, whisper soft, then re-started. "The ellipsis originally meant there was something missing, and still does in scholarly writing. Now, in fiction, it also implies that you *gradually* stopped, either in the middle of a sentence . . . or at the end of a complete one. . . ." Ezra wet his lips. "Note: complete sentences, period *plus* three dots. Incomplete ones, just . . . 

 

"Many writers have the bad habit of reaching for substitutes for words they've already used. A very perceptive science-fiction writer once wrote, 'English has no synonyms; it has a great many words that mean almost the same thing.' But Mark Twain wrote, 'The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug.' He also wrote, 'Use the right word, not its second cousin.' Or to paraphrase Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'Good writing is the right words in the right order.' " 

 

"Some writers will invent several different ways to identify someone in a story, and then -- for no other reason than avoid using the same words for the same thing. Such a writer might call you 'Vin,' and in your next appearance, 'the long-haired ATF agent', then 'the quietly intense ex-Army Ranger'. Next, she might use your last name alone 'Tanner', then 'the blue-eyed, young sharp-shooter mounted on Ezra's magnificently muscled physique', and then 'the long-haired studling', and finally back to 'Vin', leaving the reader unsure if the writer has one character on stage, or six." 

 

Vin snickered, then said, " 'Magnificently muscled'." 

 

"Well, I am. I worked hard to get these muscles, and I'm not about to let the reader forget them." 

 

"I know, I know. And since muscle-hunks happen t' turn me on --" 

 

"I noticed that." Ezra's hips jerked with the increased pressure from his partner. 

 

"-- but conceited ones don't, and --" 

 

"You wouldn't want me to lie about my magnificent musculature, would you?" 

 

"-- and I can't tell if yer kidding when ya say things like that; and that makes it even funnier, even if ya are being serious; but if we start laughing while we're doing this..." Vin thrust hard, rotated his hips twice and eased back, again slowing to an almost to a stop. "...it'll be over too soon. So, let's get back t' the writing lesson, before I -- ya know." 

 

"By all means. Just as bad as reaching too often for substitute words is to begin a story with tiresomely detailed physical descriptions, measurements, and past histories of all the principal characters -- which is precisely what we did not do here. Instead, we followed the ancient advice: start in media res, which is Latin for 'in the middle of things'. Homer did, some three thousand years ago, beginning the "Iliad" with: 'Sing, Goddess, of the anger of Achilles, . . .' right smack in the middle of the Trojan War. His words sing to us yet. 

 

"Thus, we started our story, quite literally, during your first thrust. Blocks of explanation, like these paragraphs, are useful to cool someone down. But fiction works better if the writer slips in background details and descriptions of the principal characters a few words at a time, early in the action, like the time you tossed your head to get your long, curly sandy-brown hair out of your eyes. Break up lectures, if any, with action and dialogue. Here and there, the point-of-view character may be reminded of something in his past by what's happening in the main plot." 

 

"Like -- like maybe yer very first -- ya know . . ." 

 

"Right." Ezra took a deep breath, feeling his chest expand, remembering for a few seconds the tiny cropping of islands that made up South Carolina's Outer Banks, the tangy smell of the ocean and the feel of the sand beach on his bare feet. He remembered the ache in his muscles after the hard run, remembered the first time his running partner's fingers tickled across his back, the feel of the other man's sweaty body pressed against his, the taste of his mouth... 

 

Ezra shook the memory away. "Yes, because a first any thing is something that people, real and imaginary, do remember. Even more so, the very first time you go all the way, whether with a well-buffed hunk, or a twenty-buck hustler, leaves you changed, deeply changed. What's happened, what's made you change is important to you -- which makes what happened in the story important and interesting to the reader as well. 

 

"Now, this deep into a story really isn't the time to stop for a static description of my clear emerald-green eyes; my slightly curly chestnut brown hair; even my strong chiseled face. The reader might have decided, pages and pages ago, that I have aquiline features and dark eyes and shoulder-length black hair, because I didn't show the reader otherwise in the first few paragraphs; either by having me remember how I look, or by letting the reader see those details through my eyes. And since I'm telling the story, thus keeping it in my point of view, I couldn't have you show the reader. Point of view is important, otherwise we have what resembles a game of tennis, with the reader zinging back and forth, trying to keep up with the action coming from each P.O.V. change. 

 

"But you're right, of course: mentioning my 'magnificently muscled physique' was overdoing it, especially this far into the story, and even more so if I hadn't already established in the first few paragraphs that we're a couple of well-built studs. After that, it can help the reader to be the point of view character, to be in the middle of the erotically exciting events --" 

 

"'Erotically exciting'? Now I know yer kidding." Vin pulled back, and slid in hilt-deep again, causing Ezra to shudder deeply. 

 

"-- if I slip in an occasional reminder of our outstanding physical physiques. I can mention the pressure of your warm, taut chest against my powerful thighs, because that's what's happening to me right now-" 

 

"Now ya've done it!" Vin thrust faster, harder, faster. 

 

"Can't -- you -- slow -- down?" 

 

"Not now. Too hot. Real hot." 

 

"I...noticed." Ezra panted, trying to meet every impaling thrust. 

 

Vin suddenly gasped aloud, ramming himself all the way in. He went rigid, and then slowly, slowly relaxed and started breathing again. "I was going along okay, ya know. Stretching it out just like ya told me to, until ya reminded me just what we're doing. And what yer thighs felt like against my chest, how deep I was going, and...and all of a sudden, I couldn't stop." He rested his upper body on Ezra's quivering thighs for a moment, then said, "I bet ya can't keep on with this lesson if *yer* on top." 

 

"I can so! Where's my shirt? I always carry a few extra in my pocket. I'll put one on before we . . ." 

 

"Don't worry, I got a supply in the dresser. Let me see." Vin straightened his arms, looked down between their still-linked bodies, and said, "Yeah, as long and thick as ya are, an extra large oughta fit just right." 

 

"That was deftly done," said Ezra, as they uncoupled. 

 

Vin rolled off and -- a moment later -- sat up. "Huh?" 

 

"Without stopping to explain, or to cite measurements, you established that we're using protection and that I'm well-equipped for our next round. You're letting the reader decide just how long and thick and wide my extra large might be." 

 

"Yeah?" Vin, now on his feet, pulled open the bureau's top drawer and passed a foil-wrapped packet to Ezra, who stood up, stretched and then opened the packet. 

 

"I suppose we could start measuring each other -- chest, arms, waist -- then drop to the calves, work on up to our thighs and -- you know. That could be more interesting than just saying how tall you are and how big around the chest and, as you put it, how long and how thick you are where it counts." 

 

Vin grabbed a towel, peeled off his condom, and wiped himself dry. "Like... Hey! Like the beginning of this story, where ya said -- without ever stoppin' what was going on, that yer broader than me -- and a real muscle-hunk at that -- but that I've got a great body, too." 

 

"Another problem." Ezra finished putting on the latex sheath, then applied the lubricant Vin dug out of another drawer. "If you write that a story-stud of yours has -- say -- ten-inches, some readers will think this is exciting, but others will think your character is laughably over-equipped. 'What is all right for B, will quite scandalize C, for C is so very particular.' " 

 

"Again -- huh?" 

 

"A Gilbert and Sullivan quote. From "The Yeomen of the Guard", I think." Ezra gestured at the bed with a sweep of his right hand. Vin stretched out, tucked a pillow under his lower back, and spread his legs. 

 

Ezra knelt between Vin's thighs, taking the time to prepare his lover for the coming attraction, reveling in Vin's moans of encouragement. Finally confident Vin was ready, he leaned forward, found his target, and thrust forward, stopping with only an inch or so inside. "Like readers, writers vary, one writer may like his characters to be kind of chubby and well-furred; while another may only like studs in their twenties, with the kind of taut, sharply etched muscles they get from working out at the gym." He eased an inch deeper, feeling Vin respond with a squirm and a squeeze. 

 

"Got any rules for which kind of characters t' use?" 

 

"Nope. I really don't have any rules for the writing game -- just a lot of suggestions. You can write a story that's all dialogue, with no speech tags at all. You just have to realize that when you do, that format will take some of the reader's attention away from what's going on in the story. 

 

"It helps to have the characters sound a bit different from each other as they speak. I use long sentences with long words; you speak more informally, with more slang, more elisions." 

 

"Elisions?" asked Vin. 

 

Ezra slowly moved his hips from side to side once, then eased deeper still. "Leaving out a part of a word, like s'pose for suppose, or t' for to, or 'yer' for your and you're. 

 

"Yeah? I notice that ya stress a lot of words as ya talk, sorta like *this*. Makes ya sound -- ya know -- funny." 

 

"It beats talking corn-pone hill-billy talk to show what I mean. Somebody with a good ear can spot the difference between your Texan accent and my Georgian one, but when writing, you need to show it. 

 

"Then there's what a story is about. Some readers want you to get on with the Main Event, with just enough plot to get all the characters into the same bed at the same time. Other readers want more plot and dialogue, less details and description. Still others get excited by stories of hurt and comfort, of whipping and torture, maybe even action and adventure." Ezra slid deeper into Vin, pulled back, and thrust again. He watched Vin grit his teeth, felt Vin clamp down hard and then relax with a long sigh. Vin's eyes focused on Ezra's, and the two men grinned at each other. 

 

Ezra realized he was tensing up inside. He slowed his stroke. "Some get turned on by characters who use all the standard four-letter words, along with a few well-chosen five and six-letter ones. Others --" 

 

"-- manage without any dirty words at all, like -- like we've been doing --" 

 

"-- which works as a demonstration, but does call attention to how the story's told, instead of what it's about. And while some people are really into colorful descriptions, others want to stay away from those areas which are, as the old cliché has it, illegal, immoral or fattening." 

 

"More suggestions?" asked Vin. 

 

"An important one. Although Kipling wrote: 'There are nine and sixty ways, of constructing tribal lays, and every single one of them is right', I think that a very effective way to construct a story is to pick the right point of view from which you can best tell that story. And then put your reader firmly into that point-of-view character. Enabling the reader to see what that character sees, feel what the character feels, and think and remember and decide as the character does those things. In short, let the reader be that chosen character from one end of that story to the other." 

 

"The reader," said Ezra, "will experience being in the story if you -- the author -- avoid interrupting the action to address the reader directly. If you avoid making the reader jump into another character's head, and if you avoid making him look down on the scene from a set of disembodied eyes hovering over the action. Also, try not to start the story with a lecture, or biographies of the characters, or a descriptive passage told from any point of view other than that of your chosen character. Don't delay getting the reader into the story's point-of-view character and into the story itself." 

 

"Hey," Vin said, "I thought ya said that if a quoted paragraph doesn't end with a close-quote mark, then the following paragraph is automatically being said by the speaker of the preceding one. So, why did ya identify yerself as the speaker again?" 

 

"It's more important not to confuse the reader than it is to depend on the reader noticing that missing close-quote mark. Now, where was I?" 

 

"About four inches deep and counting, but explain more about this point of view you keep mentioning." Vin arched up against Ezra's next impaling thrust, causing it to go deeper. 

 

"More, yeah, deeper, now." Vin growled his approval when Ezra complied. 

 

"Umm, yes, point of view. A long story may be told better as a series of shifts from one character to another, but only if there is a clear break -- always marked with extra blank lines in manuscript, on screen, or printed on paper. Some writers put a few asterisks across that space. The first sentence following the break must put the reader firmly into the next point-of-view character's head. I saw one story recently in which the point of view shifted from one of the story's two characters to the other with every paragraph. That's hard to do well, and this writer did so, and it can be an interesting way to tell a story, but only if done well. I wouldn't suggest everyone try it as the reader is alternating between those two characters, as they interact physically and in the dialogue constantly, and it's hard to follow. 

 

"However, I still think the most effective way to tell almost all stories is to tell them from just one point of view, so the reader can really get into that character's memory, and eyes, and ears --" 

 

"-- and other appendages." Vin grabbed Ezra's hips and Ezra sank to the hilt. "Then if I wanted the reader t' watch us from above, t' watch yer back muscles working, t' watch yer tight ass pumping, pulling back, thrusting again, then --" 

 

"Well, you really can't do that and still hold *this* story together. It's been clear from the beginning that this particular tale is being told my point of view, but if it was being told from both of us, and crafted well, yes, the reader would see both. Or, you could go back and rewrite the beginning, so that I look up at a mirror on the ceiling over the bed and watch you humping away on top of my muscular self, but that's about it. 

 

"Having me remember now what I saw then doesn't work at all. You don't have a mirror on the ceiling, because if you did, I would have had to of noticed it earlier, and thusly so would have the reader, who was being me at the time. 

 

"Another minor suggestion is to avoid having characters with names that sound or look too much alike. 'Joe' and 'Moe,' for example, or even 'Danny' and 'Dennis,' unless they happen to be interchangeable twins and you want to emphasize how much alike they are. With our names, 'Ezra' has two syllables, while 'Vin' has one. Our names don't start with the same letter. They don't even rhyme. So, there's less chance to confuse the reader." Ezra eased himself back and shoved back into Vin's body with a deep groan. "Are you still-" 

 

"JD!" yelped Vin. 

 

"'JD'? That would work, two syllables, doesn't rhyme with either-" 

 

"I don't mean JD, a two-syllable name that doesn't rhyme with your name or mine. I mean JD, whose room I'm sharing. He just came in through the hall door I forgot t' lock." 

 

Ezra jerked his head around, looked back over his shoulder, and saw the sturdy, young black-haired man stride towards the bureau, shedding clothes along the way. "Don't worry, guys," JD said, as he finished stripping and reached into the bureau. "Any one mind if I join?" 

 

//So that's why Vin has that size on hand,// Ezra thought, watching JD's flesh rise most spectacularly. "I'd be delighted," Ezra said. "You mind, Vin?" 

 

"The more the merrier." Ezra and Vin wore matching smiles, watching JD smooth the condom over his engorged member. 

 

"You guys are all right," JD said, as he knelt behind Ezra's thighs. 

 

Ezra found himself grateful for the finger stretching JD was doing. Vin had relaxed him, but after seeing the size of JD, it was going to be a tight ride. He nodded when JD rubbed his cock against his ass, letting him know he was ready. JD slid half way in and Ezra caught his breath. 

 

"You okay, Ez?" JD asked, concern tingeing his voice. 

 

"Yeah, just give...give me a minute here." Ezra moved a bit, letting his body accommodate JD's size and then thrust back, impaling himself fully on the thick shaft. "Oh, yeah..." 

 

A beardless chin rubbed against his neck, and Ezra caught a whiff of something spicy. "Smells good. What is it?" he asked. 

 

"Stuff I put on my hair," JD said, tightening his grip on Ezra's hips. 

 

Ezra, now spitted to the hilt and stretched tight, rammed himself all the way into Vin again. 

 

Vin gasped, then said, "JD?" 

 

"Yeah?" 

 

"He's an extra large, too." 

 

"He is?" JD pulled back a couple of inches, and slid in again. 

 

"Sure am," said Ezra. "Vin's a nice fit. Good and tight, and the way he's moving around now . . ." 

 

"You'd squirm too," panted Vin, "if you had this thing plugged into you." 

 

Ezra felt JD pull back and then ram himself in all the way, heard JD eagerly say, "Yeah, man, that sounds great! After we finish this round, let's swap around. Me on the bottom, Vin, you on top, Ez, you in the middle again. I gotta find out how that feels inside me." 

 

"Before we do that," said Vin, breathing hard, "there's a mirror I bought yesterday. Now that's there's three of us here, we got enough guys to mount it on the ceiling, right over the bed. Ezra, if it'll keep ya from going off too soon, how 'bout explaining t' JD why we can't just look down on the scene from up there." 

 

"You can tell a story that way," said Ezra, now comfortably sandwiched between his two friends' warm, naked bodies. "It's just -- usually -- more effective to pick one point of view, and then let the reader be that character all the way through a story to the end. 

 

"And come on, why would any body want to wiggle out from between you two gorgeous studs and go flitting, like a bat, up amongst the cobwebs? Instead, I've got JD's chest against my back, and Vin arching underneath, and I'm feeling JD inside me and feeling me poking around inside Vin, and all three of us -- oops!" 

 

Ezra heard Vin ask, "You getting close?" 

 

"Yeah." Ezra, fast coming to a boil, thrust harder, faster, and harder still. 

 

As JD speeded his own stroke, he said into Ezra's ear, "I'll try and catch up." 

 

Seconds later, Ezra felt his muscles tighten. Another stroke and he went rigid. JD thrust a few times more then went rigid too, while he and Ezra pumped themselves dry. 

 

A few long, delicious minutes later, Ezra slowly relaxed, still catching his breath. "Convinced?" 

 

"Convinced," said Vin, from under Ezra. 

 

"Beats cobwebs any day," said JD, his sweat-damp body relaxing on Ezra's back. "You did seem to be laying it on a bit thick -- 'Ezra heard this'... 'Ezra felt that'... you know." 

 

"'Merely corroborative detail...', " said Ezra. 

 

JD's voice joined Ezra's. Together, they recited, "'. . . intended to give artistic verisimilitude . . .' " 

 

And JD, alone, finished the quote: "'. . . to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.' Poo-Bah, "The Mikado", words by Sir William Schwenk Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan." 

 

"If I laid it on thick enough for you to notice, then I laid it on thick enough to distract the reader," Ezra said. 

 

"Yeah, maybe, but you had to lay it on to make your point." JD sat up. "Here's a rule for you. If you don't have copies of a digital file on three separate disks, you might as well not have any. That's because hard drives eventually crash and zip drives eventually get hungry and eat disks. Always triple back the important stuff." 

 

"That's a good one," said Ezra, rolling off Vin, and sitting up himself, he faced JD. "Did you --" 

 

"-- lose stuff? No, but I once got a real scare. Chris would've had my ass if I lost those case files." JD slid off the bed, stood up. "I'll get the ladder; you two bring up the mirror. By the time we get that thing up and mounted, we oughta be reloaded and ready for another round. So, what tools do we need, Vin?" 

 

~END~


End file.
